Growlygracepress's Blog


I don’t believe in ‘happiness’
February 14, 2018, 9:39 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

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It’s a helluva thing to say but I’ve been thinking about it and I concluded that as a state of being it’s a bit false. Now I can reconcile things I have said in the past about being ‘unhappy’ about not bookbinding but what I mean is I want to have bookbinding back in my life as a practice and to be engaged with the process as effectively as I can using my ideas and values about books, materials and methods. I don’t have a market for the books but that should not prevent me from making them to the best of my ability.

The trashed work room is getting decluttered and shelfs that were crap magnets have been taken out, I am putting together a shelf of books that have some representation of what I think is my best work. I’ll deal with the rest of them appropriately.

The eBay sales have started and are cathartic I am looking forward to commissioning new tools and buying new leathers and I am going to get rid of a massive hoard of leathers that I don’t want to work with or deal with.

That thing about happiness. I always been aware that some women I talk with are really angry about not being happy and the first thing I ask is how would you know if you were ‘happy’ and it’s always some bull shit about ‘feelings’ and when ever I experience ‘feelings’ I want to close that down.

I am contented. I lead a satisfying life. I am engaged with my practice in the allotment. I have meaningful and deep relationships with people around me. I am not chasing happiness. I don’t believe that clearing out the workroom would make me happy or I have a fear of finishing a task. It’s just a pain requiring focus and decision making (as in this goes in the bin or is destined for eBay)

It’s getting sorted.

I am happy when I have a great big bag of cheese and onion crisps or a sausage sandwich and that’s going to happen maybe a dozen times of the year and thats good enough.

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